


Successful Failures

by QuokkaFoxtrot



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: AU, Don't join the Pancake Cult, Hermann is Arthur, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Fusion, M/M, Newt is Ford, One Shot, Vogons are Stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-09-28
Packaged: 2018-02-19 04:34:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2374736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuokkaFoxtrot/pseuds/QuokkaFoxtrot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“No, seriously, there’s gotta be something that you’ve always wanted to do,” Newt says as they walk down a hill that is somehow more lavish and pastoral than the average hill in the English countryside while also being a rather alarming shade of purple.</p><p>“There are a great many things I’ve always wanted to do,” Hermann says dourly shoving his hands deeper into the pockets of his robe and scowling at the fist-sized dragonfly hovering around his head. “Growing old and dying quietly on my own planet being one of them.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Successful Failures

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write a short quick fun AU because everything I'm currently working on is fairly... soul shattering. Then this happened.
> 
> I haven't read the books in years so the voice got away from me a lot, but it's loosely based on [this section](http://www.extremelysmart.com/humor/howtofly.php) and I can't remember which book it's from. The third or fourth I think.
> 
> Unbetaed, but run through spellcheck. Like a boss.

"No, seriously, there's gotta be something that you've always wanted to do," Newt says as they walk down a hill that is somehow more lavish and pastoral than the average hill in the English countryside while also being a rather alarming shade of purple.

"There are a great many things I've always wanted to do," Hermann says dourly shoving his hands deeper into the pockets of his robe and scowling at the fist-sized dragonfly hovering around his head. "Growing old and dying quietly on my own planet being one of them."

"Aw, come on, man. Just because your planet was destroyed to make way for an interplanetary bypass doesn't mean _you_ have to stop living. There's a whole universe for you to explore now. What do you want to do?" Newt asks, bouncing as he walks, excitement thrumming through his limbs.

"I don't know," Hermann says, frowning at the dragonfly flitting in and out of their vision. "What is there?"

"What is there?! Oh wow. What _isn't_ there? We could-" Newt stops abruptly and raises a hand at the dragonfly. "Listen, dude, I've heard the good word and the good word is _party_. Unless Zoot's gonna drop the bass, I ain't buying," Newt says swatting at it as it gets up in his face.

Hermann narrows his eyes, first at Newt, then at the dragonfly, and realises that if he listens closely, he can hear a tiny, high-pitched spiel on the benefits of joining the Church of the Benevolent and Great Lord High Zoot - number one of which appears to be pancakes on Thursdays.

He thinks he can feel the babelfish squirm in his ear canal.

"He's not interested either, little dude. Take your proselytizing to the other side of the hill." Newt swats at the dragonfly once more and it darts off with an indignant chirrup, promising death and destruction and syrup shortages for eternity. "Now, where were we?"

"There is one thing," Hermann says watching the dragonfly as it darts hither and thither away from them.

"Sweet! What is it? VIP passes to a Disaster Area concert? Hide and Seek on Traal? Ohohoh, dinner at the end of the universe? Swimming in a black hole?"

"No, none of those- You can't swim in a black hole. You'd be _crushed out of existence_ ," Hermann says with a glare and a thump of his cane which makes a dissatisfyingly dull sound in the soft grass.

"Anti-grav underoos," Newt says with a shrug. "Feels kind of like swimming in Jell-O."

"Of course it does," Hermann says with a sneer and turns to continue walking down the hill.

"Hey, man, come on," Newt says putting his hand on Hermann's shoulder to slow him. "You had a thing you wanted to do so let's hear it."

"I've always wanted to..." Hermann bites his lip and looks away. "It's such a mundane thing. I'm sure there are more interesting things we could-"

"What is it? If it's eating Stilton 'til you puke, you're on your own, but-"

"Flying. I want to- Is there somewhere we could, I don't know, rent an aircraft?"

"I can go you one better." Newt smirks. "Flying's easy. We can do it right now," he says and resumes walking down the hill. "You've just got to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

"Throw yourself at the ground and m- That's _impossible_ ," Hermann growls stalking after Newt.

"Impossible?" Newt says with a smirk and Hermann glares even harder as though he can set the ridiculously taunting little man's hair on fire with his mind.

" _Absolutely impossible_ ," Hermann asserts falling into step beside Newt. "If you're going to mock me at least have the decency to-" 

Newt's head drops out of his line of sight and Hermann's automatically reaching out to keep him from falling. Then Newt's in front of his face grinning like a demented Jack-in-the-Box and bouncing like the fool he is.

"You are the clumsiest intergalactic traveler I've ever had the misfortune to meet," Hermann says with an exasperated shake of his head and moves to step around Newt.

"Hermann," Newt says with a laugh and points at the ground. 

When Newt doesn't continue his sentence, Hermann frowns and looks down. It takes a moment for his mind to comprehend what he's seeing: there's his feet and Newt's feet and blades of grass in shades of purple and violet and it's only after Newt giggles again that he realises that Newt's feet are six inches off the ground.

He looks at Newt stunned and he realises he should have twigged sooner: Newt's standing downhill and they're eye-to-eye.

"But- What- _How?!_ " Hermann sputters and watches as Newt hovers away and reclines in midair.

"I missed," he says with a shrug. "You can do it. Just throw yourself at the ground and at the last possible second forget what you were doing."

"Oh, just forget what I was doing while the ground's rushing up at me. Of course," Hermann says and throws his hands up as he turns away. He hears a quiet whooshing sound and then Newt's back in his face.

"Come on, man," Newt says patting him on the shoulder. "You just need to fail at failing. It'll be easy."

"I'm much better at being successful at succeeding," Hermann says and looks at the ground dubiously. He tries to subtly test it with his foot and at least the springiness of the soil and grass will give any unsuccessful failures a soft landing.

"I've seen you fail. It doesn't happen very often, but you're really good at it," Newt says and Hermann thinks he's trying to be supportive. "Just have a go. If your falls are too successful, we can go do something else."

Hermann huffs as Newt slowly glides away, settling a few metres off the ground a short way away. Far enough that Hermann can't take a swipe at him with his cane and he thinks that was intentional.

"Just 'miss', you say?" Hermann says doubtfully. "How exactly does one go about that?"

"Distraction usually works best, y'know," Newt says thoughtfully. "Like, I'll be walking along and trip and then think 'oh, hey, hotdogs exist,' and bam: flying."

"While I'm sure that works for you, I cannot say that the existence of a _hotdog_ is going to helpfully facilitate my ability to defy the laws of the known universe," Hermann says, hardly believing he's even entertaining this notion.

"It doesn't have to be _hotdogs_ ," Newt says pulling a face at Hermann and turning a lazy barrel roll. "It can be anything. Like, the second before you hit the ground think of something else. You trip and then you're all 'oh my god _tweed,_ " and then you're flying. Try it."

Hermann purses his lips and tries to steel himself for what's to come. He looks skyward for a moment then takes a deep breath and throws himself down. All he can think is that he's intentionally falling on the ground and the soft, thudding impact confirms an unsuccessful failure.

"Try it again," Newt says hovering above him. "You're too good at being good at things. You just need some practice at being bad. Try walking instead of just falling."

Hermann rolls onto his back and Newt's looking down at him encouragingly. He shakes his head and hauls himself to his feet. Dusting himself off he starts walking, throwing disparaging glares at Newt as he goes then he drops and hits and rolls partway down the hill and lies there face down, cheeks burning as Newt calls encouragement to him.

Again and again he tries, and as grateful as he is that the ground is soft and welcoming, he's starting to get a little sore from all the attempts.

"You're just doing this to have a laugh, aren't you?" Hermann says angrily, rising up to his elbows. "Humans can't actually fly, only... whatever it is you are."

"Nonono, it's not just me. Keep trying. You can do it. Just remember to forget to hit the ground," Newt says hovering a few feet above Hermann's head and looking down at Hermann sprawled on the ground.

" _Remember to forget_ ," Hermann grumbles, glaring as he rights himself and prepares to start walking again. He throws himself at the ground twice more without success and it's only Newt's wide-eyed stare and the fact that he's sitting cross-legged in mid-air that makes him try again.

"You're cute when you're angry," Newt says on the next try and Hermann stares at him exasperated.

"Why would you say something like that?!" Hermann asks feeling his neck and face flush hot with embarrassment.

"Because it's true," Newt says hovering close to him, face inches away from Hermann's and gaze darting between his eyes and his lips. 

Hermann's used to seeing sincerity in Newt's face; all the joyful exuberance contained within him seeming to push any facility for deception out of his short frame. To see it now has Hermann's heart thumping in an unexpected manner.

"I don't-... What are you saying?" Hermann asks and Newt's smile is wide and blinding.

"Hermann," he says, pointing down and when Hermann follows the direction of Newt's finger he sees the ground four feet below him, drops his cane, and yelps. 

He feels himself begin to drop and Newt grabs on, shaking his head emphatically.

"Don't think about it. You'll fall. Just... You're flying, Hermann. _Flying!_ " Newt laughs and Hermann feels the terror in his heart slowly turn to a bubbly giddiness. His lips turn up at the corners in a smile he can't contain and it settles into his brain that he's floating in the air in exactly the same way a brick doesn't.

" _I'm flying_ ," he whispers and Newt smiles at him indulgently.

"You are," he says softly and Hermann lets out a whoop and shoots upward. 

He twists and turns in the air, marvelling at the rush of wind in his face and the fact that the laws of physics are apparently turning a blind eye to him right now. He does a loop the loop and then a barrel roll and then he's plummeting towards the ground and flying low enough that he can trail his fingers through the grass as he whips by.

He feels like Peter Pan, buoyed by laughter and happy thoughts and he never ever wants to come down. It feels like something inside of him has broken and all the reservation he usually wraps around him like a cape has vanished and left behind a man who feels confident swooping past Newt and doesn't care if people can see him laughing and hollering as he darts across the sky. 

_He's flying_.

He slows as he passes Newt and stops a few metres away, giddy with exertion and smiling wider than he has since the Vogons came and bureaucratically dismissed his planet from existence.

"Thank you, Newton," he says breathlessly and Newt just smiles and blushes, hovering a little closer to him.

"You're cute when you're happy, too," Newt says quietly.

Hermann's breath catches in his throat. He had thought that was just something Newt said to distract him - rather successfully, as it turned out - and not something he actually meant. Hermann stares at Newt as he turns a rather charming shade of pink that clashes horribly with the countryside behind him. He starts to hover closer, keeping his eyes on Newt's face as he leans in and places his lips against Newt's; not quite a kiss, but an invitation to a kiss - a request for an RSVP to a private kissing party taking place at a fixed point in the future. 

Newt doesn't RSVP. He arrives three weeks early with a bottle of wine and starts the party at once.

Newt kisses him delicately and Hermann hadn't expected that; had expected Newt to be a tangle of tongue and limbs like an overenthusiastic octopus at a mid-nineties rave. Newt's arms wrap around him and pull him close and then they're trading slow, lazy kisses as they spiral upwards and Hermann has to break away to laugh. 

"What's so funny?" Newt asks and Hermann squeezes his arms and laughs.

"I'm twenty metres above a bright purple field light years away from everything I've ever known - all of which is no longer in existence - and there's so much I haven't seen or heard of that I'm going to get to experience but none of that is really registering because I'm _flying_ ," Hermann says staring at Newt in wonder. "And not just that... I'm flying with _you_ , of all people."

"Ow, right in the ego," Newt says with a frown, pulling away. 

"No, wait," Hermann says and ducks in to kiss him reassuringly. "Of all the people I thought would kiss me, would _want_ to be kissed by me, would call me _cute_ under any circumstances... you were not even on that list."

"You had a stupid list," Newt scoffs.

"I did," Hermann says and kisses him once more.

"I didn't just bring you along because you were the first person I ran into," Newt says as the sun begins to dip beyond the horizon and the bioluminescent creatures of the planet begin to shuffle out of their daylight dwellings and make their way across the shifting sea of grass. "I was looking for you."

Hermann's heart skips a beat and as he looks around at the wholly alien world surrounding him, and the achingly familiar face of Newt in front of him, he smiles and touches his forehead to Newt's.

"I'm glad you found me."


End file.
